


You Won't Be Alone

by areallytirednerd



Category: Naruto
Genre: Child Abuse, Codependency, Death of family, Kinda AU, Misogyny, Other, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recurring Nightmares, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert, parenting, recovering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-14 03:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7150997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areallytirednerd/pseuds/areallytirednerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently I was supposed to hate this child who looked at me with fear. This child who was being beaten just moments ago. Bruises already blossomed on him reminding me of the times the same would happen to me. I tried to hate this child that everyone said was a monster just like when my family told me to hate shinobi because they were monsters. Humans were often wrong and I had no doubt they were wrong about him.</p><p>"Hello, I'm Kazue... What's your name?"</p><p>"Naruto."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I am Kazue Ueda of the Ueda clan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at writing anything for Naruto so I hope it goes well. What I have planned honestly might be a bit ambitious for me but I'm damn well going to try. This story is mainly about the mother-son like bond that will form between Naruto and the main character. Although they won't even meet for a while. I might have a romance for the main character but as of right now it isn't planned. This was originally going to have the reincarnation but kept past lives memories thing but decided it wasn't working. Author's note at the end of chapters will often have information I will most likely not explain within the story.
> 
> :WARNING: THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES PHYSICAL CHILD ABUSE :WARNING:

Kazue  
(About seven years old)

I am Kazue Ueda, the only daughter and child of Nobu Ueda and Michi Ueda of the Ueda clan. Michi, my mother, is the picture you’d see under the words ‘perfect’ wife. She was quiet, spoke only when spoken to, did everything my father asked, and was beautiful in the way all good mothers were. Nobu, my father, was an aggressive, stubborn, and sly man who had managed to weasel his way into being one of the Head’s most trusted advisors. 

It was unfortunate that I inherited more of my father’s looks than my mother’s. My mother had given me nut brown eyes and skin a bit darker than most of the Uedas’, telling me my mother had married into the family. Everyone, except for a few outside my mother and myself, was a pale white while we were, as my mother had described it, a fawn white. My father had given me my copper brown hair, common in the family, and sharp features. 

The Ueda clan(1) based itself in a small village within the Land of Fire. It’s a very strict and formal clan with lots of rules and clearly defines what men and women should be. I have to be told often to act like the woman I am, though my mother insists I’m only a child when it’s just us. My clan also has something against shinobi that no one will explain to me. The answer was always that they were scum, trash, shit, etcetera, etcetera. This dislike was also shared by the village so I’ve never heard anything good about them.

Since none of the adults that took care of me could give me a satisfying answer I thought asking my father might clear things. It had cleared things up but not in the way I wanted. My father was always busy so I didn’t interact with him much. What I knew of him came from brief moments he was around and what others said of him, both good and bad.

All I asked was “Why do we hate shinobi?” and suddenly I was on the floor. My face stung and tears welled in my eyes but I couldn’t figure out what had happened. I couldn’t help but cry at the pain. No one rushed over to comfort me like they usually would, though. When my vision no longer blurred I could see my mother and nanny frozen in place, their eyes moving from me to my father. Horror didn’t show on their faces but I could see the terror in their eyes. My father was yelling at them as he pointed to me.(2)

“Does she not know her place?! What have you been teaching my daughter that makes her think she can speak to a man first?!” The woman just lowered their heads, not a word passing either lips. Nobu huffed as he left and only then did they rush towards me.

Soothing words were uttered by both of them as my mother stroked my hair. I held onto her tightly as my body shook with the force of my sobs. We stayed like that till my sobs turned into sniffles. It was then that I could tell my mother had been crying also. I learned that I hated seeing my mother cry.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
(About eight years old)

Before me stood a man that looked a lot like Nobu but seemed… Happier? Other than the big genuine smile on his face and black hair it would seem I’m looking at his twin. I’m pretty sure it’s his twin. 

Mom, Nana(3), and I were walking around the small marketplace due to a trade caravan visiting for a brief time. We hoped to find some unique trinket or sparkly piece of jewelry. And then this stranger came up to my mother and had hugged her. Only me and Nana hugged her and even that was when no one else was around.(4)

“Kazue, this is your uncle Jurou.” He was introduced to me after he had put mom down. I bowed and the man shook his head and laughed.

“No need for the formal stuff, little one. We’re outside of that stiffy compound.” I straightened up as I looked at him in confusion. He laughed once again and ruffled my hair. I turned to my mother in hopes of some answer as to how this man is an Ueda but she was too busy looking at him with… Love. It was then that I realized that my mother had married the wrong man.

No one has ever spoken of Jurou so I could only assume he had been removed from the clan. Something that was common in our family unsurprisingly.(5) Someday I would probably be a disgrace to the clan also. It was clear that I wouldn’t get an explanation as to why he was disgraced, though.

He lead us through the market, having us stop at stands he thought to be worthwhile. I tugged at my mother’s clothes whenever something caught my eye. She looked for a moment then smiled down at me before she resumed talking with Jorou. 

“Come, child. Let’s let them catch up.” Nana grabbed my hand and lead me away. I looked back and saw that the two hadn’t even noticed our disappearance. A laugh escaped me, Nana pretended not to notice. We stopped in front of a stand selling spices. The vendor and Nana immediately began bartering, conversation slipping in every now and then.

“How do you deal with the bandits?” The vendor scowled, his eyes briefly settling on a group of people not far off.

“The head of the caravan hired some shinobi. Big mistake if you ask me.” She nodded in agreement, a scowl of her own forming.

“Dirty bastards.” Guess she had forgotten I was here. The group seemed to be able to hear the conversation also. Some seemed indifferent and some frowned. Were they shinobi? Or just people that didn’t think as lowly of them?

I slipped out of Nana’s hand, she didn’t notice, and began moving slowly towards the group. If someone of my clan saw me I would be in a lot of trouble and I’d rather not have a repeat of last week when Nobu found me playing in the mud with some village boys. I’m still in some pain and the word ‘whore’ rings in my ear. 

A boy with white hair in the group suddenly looked right at me, halting my steps. I tried to swallow the fear, clutching the bag in my hand tighter, before continuing. He continued to stare and a few of the others raised their eyebrows at me. Before long I stood in front of them.

“There something you need, kid?” One of mother’s lessons was replaying itself in my head. ‘A good hostess always makes sure her guests feel welcomed.’ This wasn’t my house but I wanted them to feel welcomed, just a little.

I dug into my bag and grabbed onto what I was searching for. My hand stretched towards them, some treats in it. “Want some?” All of their eyes widened and a few chuckled. The eyes of the white haired boy narrowed. 

One with blonde hair stepped towards me and grabbed one. “Don’t mind if I do!” He popped it into his mouth. That seemed to be a signal of okay for the rest because they quickly took some too. Except the boy. 

“Don’t like sweets.” He answered before I had even questioned him. I stared at him for a moment and then dug in the bag for the apple Nana had bought for me earlier. More laughs came from the shinobi as I handed it to him, surprise clear on his face.

“Thanks, kid. What's your name?” The blonde man spoke for them all, smiling softly at me.

“Ueda, Kazue. And you?” I spoke quietly. I hadn’t expected to interact with them beyond giving them the treats. My name seemed familiar to them, at least my last. They tensed as I introduced myself.

“Namikaze, Minato. Ueda huh? Your family doesn't have much love for us shinobi so why are you talking to us ‘scum’?” He wanted to repeat what Nana had called them, I could tell, but didn’t most likely because of me.

So they are shinobi! The need to question them about everything rose within me but I quickly squashed it. “A good hostess makes sure her guests feel welcomed. Whether they’re scum or not… though you don’t seem like scum to me…”

He was about to respond but Nana interrupted him, shouting “Kazue!” at me. She ran towards me and snatched me away. I hissed as the action sent a shock of pain throughout my body. The shinobi stared as we left.

“What were you thinking talking to them?! They could have stolen from you!... Or killed you!” Nana rambled on in her scolding of me. I ignored her in favor of trying to contain any pained cries that threatened to escape me.

It wasn’t long before we were once again by mom and Jurou. Their conversation stopped in favor of looking at me with concern. “Let go of her! You’re hurting her!” Jurou shouted at Nana and she in turn released as if she’d been burned. The crowd around looked at us for only a moment.

“I apologize, Kazue, but I had to get you away from the shinobi.” 

“Shinobi! What were you doing near shinobi?!” My mother looked frightened and I immediately felt guilty over causing her trouble. Jurou looked concerned over my mother’s words, though.

We left for home soon after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) A completely civilian clan that views women more as objects rather than people  
> (2)After this moment, she won’t refer to him as her father  
> (3)Real name is unknown to Kazue but the woman was her mother’s midwife and is now the nanny. Nana means ‘seven’ in Japanese but Kazue is using it in the English way (grandmother) somewhat. She prefers it over nanny. Whole family confused but goes along with it.  
> (4)Affection in public view is frowned upon by the clan  
> (5)You are disgraced in the eyes of the clan if you leave it for any reason other than the arranged marriages. It’s the most common reason someone is disgraced but there are of course other ways. The common reason they leave is because they don't agree with clan ways.  
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Well, first chapter is done. Thanks for reading! I'm willing to answer questions unless it's something later explained in the story. Special thanks to my sister, Morgen, for helping me revise.


	2. Getting Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today the Saitos arrive so that Kazue can be presented as a possible future wife. Everyone must prepare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not the most exciting chapter but I hope you enjoy. Notes at the end have extra information
> 
> :WARNING:PHYSICAL CHILD ABUSE:WARNING:

Kazue  
(About eight years old)  
[Few hours after events of first chapter]

While Nobu didn’t find out right away about me interacting with shinobi, it hadn’t taken long. Neither mom or Nana had said anything since they didn’t want me hurt. But another member of the Ueda’s must have seen me or a villager close to the family did. Doesn’t matter how he found out, only that he did.

He stormed into our part of the compound demanding to know where I was. My mother tried to say she didn’t know and luckily Nana had been elsewhere. I ruined her attempt at sparring me pain as I stepped into the room. My head down as the heat of his glare focused on me.

“Shinobi! What were you thinking, girl?” Suddenly my face stung. “They are disgraceful creatures and an Ueda should never associate with them!” Another hit and then he gripped my arm painfully. He pulled me closer “Do you understand your mistake? You’ll soil yourself getting too close to them and no man will want to marry a woman impure.” I nodded my understanding, trying to hold back the tears. An Ueda woman must save her emotions for when she is alone. 

“The Saitos(1) will be here tomorrow. We must pray they don’t find out about this.” With those words, he flung me to the floor and left. I rubbed at the pain, hoping to ease it. My mother ran off to most likely find something to help. 

As soon as she exited the room, my vision blurred and I quickly wiped at the tears. I should know better than to defy the family with even this small act. My body shook as a loud sob tore through me. For a moment I regretted my actions. I should had stayed by Nana and ignored the shinobi. 

I abandoned my thoughts as my mother came back in. Panic on her face as she noticed my state. “I’m sorry. So so sorry…” The words were whispered into my ear once she got to my level and hugged me tightly. This happened often though I can’t figure out why. I did something wrong and got punished for it… No reason for her to apologize.

We sat like this for a very long time. Eventually Nana returned to find us like this. Mom had stopped her chant of ‘I’m sorry’ but seemed ready to burst into tears at any moment. It was because of this that it went from her comforting me to me comforting her. Nana locked eyes with me briefly as I shushed my mother like the adults did with crying babies. She seemed to want to say something but moved on. 

I hesitated before I said what I was sure would help my mother. “Could… Could you tell me about my uncle? Jurou?” My mother lifts her head to look at me, tears still fresh on her face. It’s clear she can see what I’m trying to do. Her lips form a soft smile.

“Of course, Kazue. Come with me.” She got up and helped me to my feet before heading out of the room. I followed close behind her, trying to figure out why we needed to move to have the conversation. We stopped at the door of a room that I rarely saw. My mother’s workroom. Where she did all of her hobbies and the one place that no one dared bother her in. Even Nobu seemed to be able to tell that there was something sacred about the place.

I stepped inside just after her and stared at the work inside. Paintings, drawings, jewelry… Things my mother had created and treasured. She walked up to a shelf and pulled out a small book. We both sat on the floor, my mother handed me the book. It was one of her sketch books. The pages were filled with drawings of two boys and a girl. I didn’t recognize the girl but the two boys were obviously younger versions of Nobu and Jurou. 

“The two boys are your father and uncle…” No surprise, “and their cousin, Aki(2). She had been my best friend” My mother let out a little laugh. “She was more like a little sister though. The amount of trouble that girl would have gotten into without me...” 

“Aki’s father wouldn’t have punished her anyway. Man was always soft(3).” Nana stood in the doorway, a cloth that most likely held ice in her hands. 

“You dropped this Michi.” She sat next to us and held the cloth to my cheek. “If your father was so worried about the Saitos he wouldn’t have hit you. Not on your face and definitely not twice.” The cloth was moved away briefly for Nana to take a look at the spot. “It’ll be lucky if doesn’t bruise badly.” 

“Would ice help at all?” I asked this knowing that it wouldn’t, not in time. But this marriage is important to mom and Nana. Something about being ‘better’ for me. Whatever it takes to make them happy I will do.

“No, child.” The words were more of a sigh. “What happens within the Ueda clan has never been secret, though. It will be fine.” Silence followed after for a few moments. 

“Lets drop this talk of marriage till tomorrow… I believe I’m supposed to be telling you about your uncle.” 

My mother told stories about troublesome Uedas until I was finally sent off to bed.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
[The next morning]

I was awoken by the soft voice of my mother and light filtering into my room. She smiled down at me as I tried to blink away the remains of sleep. In the distance I could hear Nana bustling about along with several others who often giggled. Most likely cousins of mine who volunteered to help make me presentable to the Saitos.

“Come on, little girl. We have a lot to do before they arrive.” I slowly got myself out of bed and followed after my mother. 

My cousins greeted me when I passed them in the hall. I felt some guilt at not knowing their names, but I doubted they knew mine. Our family is too large and all under the age of 30 have taken to calling everyone within the same age group ‘anta’(4)(5). 

We walked into the bathroom where Nana was waiting. Steam rose from the already prepared bath, mixing with the small streams of smoke coming from the lavender scented candles. The room was filled with morning light from the skylights above us(6). 

I undress and step into the water. Immediately the two woman get to work washing and scrubbing. A hiss of pain escapes me when pressure is put on my cheek. Soaps of lavender are used on my body while ones of vanilla are used in my hair. The warmth, the smells, and the ritual feeling of it all relax me. Though a small sliver of nervousness coils within my gut.

My cousins come in briefly to place clothes on one of the counters, along with accessories and a pair of black sandals. It all seemed to shine or sparkle.

I was deemed clean enough and my mother helped me out of the bath. A towel was wrapped around me but it didn’t stop water from dripping off me and pooling at my feet. Nana lead me towards the cushions in the corner of the room. I kneeled on one as mom sat behind, Nana was looking over my clothes. Another towel was used to dry my hair.

Trying to stay still while a brush dragged through my hair was difficult. Mother always tries to be gentle but my thick hair always seemed to be a tangled mess. The thorough drying did no favors.

“I remember when I was presented to your father. I was so nervous…”

“I thought you would vomit when I saw you enter the compound.” Nana interrupted.

“I was very close to doing just that…” Mom gave a soft chuckle. “No one, except for you and my mother, noticed though.” The two were quickly getting lost in memories. Reminiscing of days gone by was unfortunately a favorite pastime for them.

“You looked beautiful that day, Michi.” She smiled at mom. “And now your daughter will look just as grand.” I doubt that. Mother has a soft beauty about her while I have the sharp looks that the men of the Ueda clan usually have(7). Other woman like me have used those looks for intimidation and gaining power within the clan. More often than not they don’t manage to marry.

“Come, Kazue. Let’s get you dressed.” I stood up and walked towards grandma where she held the kimono ready(8). Once I had removed the towel they quickly got to work. It wasn’t long before the material was on me and made to look perfect. Adjustments to it had been done last week but Nana still circled me, trying to find anything to fix. When done she gave my mother a nod, who immediately got to working on my hair(8).

Even when all of this was done, the two continued to fuss over me as they had a conversation on something I couldn't follow. There was no chance for nervousness when they acted so normal.

“Everyone is ready and the Saitos should arrive soon.” A cousin entered the bathroom, the other two giggling behind her. My mother nodded her understanding and lead Nana and me after the three. 

We stepped outside our family home and headed for the main building. The morning was still cool but a look at the clear sky told me it wouldn’t be that way for long. People were caring for the garden just in case the Saitos were given a tour.

The inside of the main building was well lit for once, no one stumbling about. It didn’t have the air of the haunted building all young Ueda’s insisted it was. Mellow fragrances wafted from unknown places while flowers strategically placed added unobtrusive sweetness. The place felt alive for once, a thought I could tell was shared by the whole party.

Nobu, the Head, and several council members already sat in the room. They turned their heads to look at us as we entered. A few scowled when they caught sight of me.  
“Couldn’t her punishment have been carried out later?” The Head furrowed his eyebrows as he questioned Nobu. “The bruising and swelling is obvious. Did you not think the Saitos would notice this blemish, Nobu?” 

Nobu grimaced at the scolding. “I-I wasn’t thinking clearly at the time.” No one seemed pleased with his answer.

“Kazue! Michi!” With that I sat next to him and mother sat on the other side. My cousins left the room and Nana hid herself in the back. Only the members of the council talked among themselves.

The nervousness I thought couldn't get me crept into my stomach as we sat there. Time seemed to suddenly slow down while we wait. Whispers from the old men seemed blast in ear along with the pounding of my heartbeat. Mother seemed able to sense all of this. She squeezed my hand briefly and it all faded.

The main doors opened, another party entered. A man and woman lead with a boy just behind them and several people trailing after. The group sat in front of ours, their faces showing emotion. Though the boy seemed bored.

“Saito, Shun and Takuma, greetings.” The Head addressed the man and boy only, a fact that seemed to irritate the woman and the man addressed. Neither said anything about it though.

“Greetings.” No names mentioned, a subtle insult that everyone caught. “Let’s get this over with.” I became nervous again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> 1: Another civilian clan. Have been at odds with Uedas for years. Both hoping an arranged marriage will allow a partnership between them.  
> -  
> 2: Aki will make an appearance later in the story. Not for a while though.  
> -  
> 3: Saying he was a big ol’ softy.  
> -  
> 4: Informal way to say you and informal of anata. (Correct me if I’m wrong) Anata is apparently used as a form of ‘dear’ between married couples. Wanted to use a word meaning sibling but there weren't any that were gender neutral. Kids are basically greeting each other by going ‘hey, you!’.  
> -  
> 5: With the strict rules and abuse, the youth of the Ueda clan are often rebellious and informal. Its gotten worse with each new generation.  
> -  
> 6: It was going to be windows originally but there’d be no way to keep people from looking in. Unless they used some type of seal but that would mean contracting shinobi. Or monks, but I don’t think monks would be willing to do it.  
> -  
> 7: These images kinda represent what I mean. Not completely there but close enough.  
> -  
> https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.luuux.com%2F0000F8F153C0D93A295AEFD5833A8422%2Fmiddle%2Fkong560_1.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.luuux.com%2Fviz%2Fplastic-surgery-youve-never-even-heard-off-the-pointed-chin&docid=f1KhAmNepuoa5M&tbnid=D_R_JL3YvWRxbM%3A&w=560&h=400&bih=707&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwj4u9SiosHNAhWKNSYKHSlsBHY4ZBAzCCYoIzAj&iact=mrc&uact=8  
> -  
> https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.cdnme.se%2Fcdn%2F7-2%2F355120%2Fimages%2F2010%2Fimg_2030_123826734.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fmjorf.blogg.se%2Fcategory%2Fnarcissism.html&docid=BDCec6Rdzw_wEM&tbnid=UbVAc02LWPUFuM%3A&w=450&h=600&bih=707&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwj4u9SiosHNAhWKNSYKHSlsBHY4ZBAzCEIoPzA_&iact=mrc&uact=8  
> -  
> https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.womenlargejaw.com%2Fsites%2Fwww.womenlargejaw.com%2Ffiles%2Fwomen%2FSui_he_new_york_model_management_3_1321626270_thumbnail.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.womenlargejaw.com%2Ftaxonomy%2Fterm%2F15&docid=kkIFHKH0JSESiM&tbnid=6cPLXuEUie5LZM%3A&w=260&h=390&bih=707&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwj4u9SiosHNAhWKNSYKHSlsBHY4ZBAzCFEoTjBO&iact=mrc&uact=8  
> -  
> https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fbeautyinflux.files.wordpress.com%2F2013%2F10%2Fvictoria-b-heart.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fbeautyinflux.wordpress.com%2Ftag%2Fshader%2F&docid=MPaS3BVeAVW3IM&tbnid=gnh1FeKufXdptM%3A&w=496&h=600&bih=707&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwiRrNWyosHNAhXCQyYKHYYNAuw4yAEQMwgwKC0wLQ&iact=mrc&uact=8  
> -  
> 8: Kinda an idea of what it looks like. I had a lot of fun looking at different kimonos.  
> -  
> http://kimonocolours.tumblr.com/post/140782434107  
> -  
> 9: Reimagine the red flowers as the purple seen on the kimono.  
> -  
> https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F236x%2F03%2Fee%2F9b%2F03ee9b70fa0024a6181f91b977def48f.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F354799276863514838%2F&docid=jWlD4FSYlQoOGM&tbnid=Khl6Crw225I2tM%3A&w=236&h=309&safe=active&bih=631&biw=1366&ved=0ahUKEwjyuOvC9bnNAhVL92MKHRlNCEIQMwhMKCgwKA&iact=mrc&uact=8


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